My default setting as a human is to find enjoyment in creating plans because when Madison makes plans they seem ever so certain.
When I make a list, fill out a calendar, or schedule a meeting I find so much pleasure because I feel organized, most importantly I feel in control. But the Lord has so humbly and gently reminded me that I am not in control. He has shown me how unstable my flesh filled plans are without Him. Change brings our expectations to light while simultaneously wiping them away.
Whether it is chosen or unexpected, change almost always brings stress. Unknowns, questions, and what-ifs haunt me. What if I had just done this, why is this happening, or what the heck is even going on right now??? I cross my arms, put a wall up, and I reach out at what can imitate joy the quickest. I pray to God to take the change away. Take it, destroy it, and don't let it interrupt the perfect land of Madison ever again. I hate change because it always shows me how weak I actually am, how inconsistent my thoughtful planning actually is, and how terribly I actually trust Jesus.
I have been reading this book, Girl Meets Change, I strongly recommend it to anyone, and my prayers have shifted. My old prayer was, "Jesus, remove this change from my life." However, my new prayer has been "Jesus, remove my attitude towards change
Change is a part of everyone's life, just as assuredly as waves are to the ocean. Jesus slowly but surely has been removing my attitude towards change, I am reminded daily that nothing on this Earth is promised. I am not promised a family, I am not promised a fancy schmancy car or a college scholarship, but I am promised a God that loves me no matter what change I am experiencing. So when I am going through a world of constant change I need to look at Jesus who doesn't. I reorientate my heart towards Him. Just like when Peter stepped out of the boat. The waves were crashing towards him, everything was constantly changing, the only thing that was steady was his gaze towards Jesus. He was focusing on the only thing that will never change. Jesus promises to lead us faithfully, allowing us to uncover one step at a time, motioning us forward in His purposefully crafted path. Never let fear dictate your actions. We have everything we need to overcome this change because we have everything we need in Christ. So instead of crossing my bony shaky anxiety filled arms, I need to put my trust in the arms of the Eternal, the Sovereign Creator. I need to look at the change directly in the eyes and see it for what it truly is, God's next best thing for me. Quite often my ability to accept, thrive, and work through change is in direct correlation to the state of my relationship with Jesus. I lift up my arms in worship and know, no matter how intimidating, unfair, or hurtful this change is it was created by a purposeful God who knows our weakness, who has felt our weakness, who isn't turned off by our weakness but has conquered it. This change was approved by a good, gentle, and gracious God who desires us to see His sovereignty.
God does not work in spite of this change, He works through it.
He is sovereign over the voice that says you will not survive the death of a loved one
He is sovereign over the voice that says there is no way you will make it through your boyfriend breaking up with you
He is sovereign over the voice that says you cannot possibly think you can raise a child at this age
He is sovereign over every whisper in your ear that tries to steal your hope
He demolished that fear with one sweep of His mighty hand and floods your heart with love, peace, and everlasting joy.
We must be grateful for the change. When offering up our gratitude towards Jesus in all things, we acknowledge that we trust Him to use all things for good. So instead of being in spite of this change, now I look towards the Lord and ask, "What can you teach me through this change."