This topic has been on my heart daily, the words "What number are you?" ring in my ears almost daily, yet I could not articulate the words to write this daily. I slam my computer shut in the frustration that manifests my heart at the moment, trying to carefully balance love and truth in only a way God can do perfectly. I feel like I am walking a tightrope above the tallest mountain. Yet words like this need to be spoken. Words like this need to be heard. Words like this need to be written in love and in truth to myself and my dear sisters.
The Enneagram has reached its height and like with anything that is not Jesus it has begun to root its self in deceptive ways in people's hearts.
I've noticed that many Christian girls, myself included, have begun to place their identity in their enneagram rather than in the Lord. We have begun to view ourselves through the lens of a personality test rather than the lens of the gospel. We have used a number to link us to our innermost being. Our numbers have been unknowingly woven into our daily lives. Our number has become who we are. I am 2. I am a 4. I am a 7. Instead of, I am a daughter of God, chosen and loved and being sanctified daily. The bible says in 2 Timothy, 4:3-4 "For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths." We should always compare ourselves to scripture first and not things that our ears like to hear.
Comparison takes many forms. The enemy has used it with social media allowing us to compare ourselves to others constantly. He uses it on bus rides and movie theaters. He uses it on commercials and billboards. And now I believe he is using it in a very crafty, deceiving, and entrapping way. He is using the Enneagram to compare ourselves against ourselves.
He takes our number and says this is who you are. You are this number so you must act like it. You must be a helper and if you are not, you are not living up to your fullest potential. You are being possessive. You are not good enough. You are not worthy enough. You are not healthy. When in fact I should not look at the enneagram that tells me that I view myself as unworthy or unloved. I should look at scripture that says I am loved by an almighty God. "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth." Psalm 139: 13-15.
My prayer for myself and my sweet sisters is that we would not see ourselves in accordance with a number but, rather through the lens of Christ. I am healthiest when I am dwelling in Him. God searches me and knows me. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows my words before they roll off my tongue. He knows me better than any test can know me. He desires me to be more like Him every day, not more like my healthiest type 2. That is a disgrace to Him. Why would you confine yourself to an earthly number rather than an eternal God?
Numbers are the first way we can tell we are not eternal. We are restricted by them. How many likes? How much do you weigh? What number are you? We are obsessed with knowing our number when in reality knowing our number does not free us but rather shows us how confined we actually are. The enneagram does not offer us eternal hope or salvation.
Just like with anything we must not let comparison destroy us. We shouldn't compare ourselves with the girl that sits next to you in college algebra with the pretty hair, or the people on social media with the flawlessly airbrushed faces and photoshopped bodies, or even against ourselves with an Enneagram test. We are not a performance piece. We should compare ourselves to Christ becoming sanctified in Him daily. Let the Creator of your heart be the one who restores it.